Fifty Shades in Fifty Ways: My Opinion

on February 14, 2015 105 Replies

Ah, just beginning to write this blog post I’m a bit nervous of the fall-out.

But freedom of press and expression and all that is important. And this isn’t about judgment on what’s good and what’s bad, who hates fifty and who loves it, etc, etc.

I’m a writer of romance. When my book The Marriage Bargain hit the bestseller lists, it was around the same time Fifty Shades of Grey blew up the world. My book was listed on every What To Read After Fifty lists, along with Day’s Crossfire series. It was rated in the top five books that people left behind in hotels (number 1 was 50 Shades)– which I never knew was such a big deal but I thought it was super cool to be included. Just the other day, The Marriage Bargain was just included in the Top Books to Read After Fifty Shades in this Washington Post article: here

But this blog isn’t about comparing or touting my book. I just wanted to set the precedent I was around and involved in the industry at the time the book stormed the world, and after keeping a long, long, silence, I’d just like to speak on my own page about a few things.

Did I enjoy the book? Yes, I did. I was swept up in the power of the characters, and for me, characterization is everything to me. I can forgive plot, I don’t need crazy sex (though it’s fun) but if there’s great characters, and chemistry, I’m in. This book, above all, is a romance.

I’d read many, many BDSM novels and even wrote a whole bunch before Fifty, so this didn’t shock me or even make me pause. What makes me sad is the huge turnover of people screaming abuse toward women, insulting the book and film, and intelligent, educated, kick ass women turning on each other. The Facebook posts are brutal, along with many intelligent, thoughtful articles about 50 Shades and the culture being dragged down by inane, mean comments going on for pages and pages. When the Washington Post article came out and I was excited about the mention, I literally had a bunch of scathing comments regarding my book, basically saying they wouldn’t read mine because they’d need to bleach their brain out, and how offended they were I thought I’d lower their social and educational statuses by even imagining they’d read such EXCREMENT.

Ouch.

If I hate something, I usually just don’t comment. If I hate something, I don’t buy it, or talk about it. Especially anyting with creative expression such as books, movies, or music. That’s why we live here. Again, our power is not to buy it or see it or listen to it. Isn’t that powerful enough without stooping to such incredible cruelty and hatred? I’m also okay with a  good, solid debate. I love a good conversation. What I don’t love is a good conversation being pulled down into the trenches of a muddy, bloody cat fight.

This book is not about women being violently abused because they have no say. We’re not talking about women who have been conditioned to want abuse. The book revolves around a sexual preference behind closed doors with two people who negotiate and know exactly what they are getting into. Or not. It is about experimentation. Safe. Sane. Consensual. The goal is toward the woman’s ultimate pleasure, one of my favorite things in writing BDSM romances. There is aftercare. There is powerful emotion.

To me, the huge draw of Fifty Shades was not the sex like the world is tittering about. Yes, the sex was a main segment of the book. But what women are crazed for is the feeling of being worshipped and loved. Adored. Sexually and non-sexually. The fantasy is the billionaire, but his focus isn’t always on the bedroom. He makes Anastasia feel completely and madly adored in every way, shape and form. This is the crux of the romance, and what makes women swoon and buy romance books and line up for the movie adaption.

Imagine a man listening to your thoughts and needs, interested in your dreams, out of bed? Imagine a man worshipping your body in bed, no matter what form that body takes?

Sheer bliss.

I saw the movie on Thursday evening. Did I like it? Yes, I did. I thought the actor and actress did an amazing job trying to deepen the characters and layer emotions from the book. I thought they exuded great chemistry. I thought the sex scenes were beautiful, and erotic, and done in a very tasteful, sense heightening way.

What I didn’t like? The huge crowd of older women in the front, ruining the movie for me by giggling like a bunch of teenagers every time something sexual was said. I mean, really people? I also was assaulted by many women who came out of the movie, loudly proclaiming it was a bunch of shit and they hated the book just as much as the movie.

Trust me—if you didn’t like the book, you will hate the movie. Just don’t go see it. It followed the book pretty closely.

Anastasia made choices of her own. Critics have said she was a young, naive girl who wanted Christian so bad she’d take a beating and abuse just to get him.

I disagree. There was a contract she didn’t have to sign. He was honest with her about his preferences. She always had the power and has the power – Not the Dominant. He can only accept or not accept what she agrees to. Am I okay with that?

Yeah. I am.

And are we really going to bring up an argument back from the eighties that romance novels cause women to think these books are reality? Really, dudes? I thought we’d’ moved on and decided women are super smart and know exactly what is reality and fiction. Men don’t really want to blow up buildings and kill people for real, right?

Just my two cents. That’s what I see as rocking the world on its axis, much more so than whips and chains. That’s it. I’m not accepting negative comments or meanness, I just wanted to share my own opinion without anyone’s judgment on my page. If I’m going to hell, so be it. Same as I won’t judge you when you post on your page, for whatever your opinion is.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

I wish you all love and romance and happiness.

 

105 thoughts on “Fifty Shades in Fifty Ways: My Opinion”

  1. Lynn says:

    I agree pretty much. Not my thing the bdsm. Withy upbringing I know how people can abuse the trust required in those situations. And yes there are groups that do not let you discuss anything or state a different opinion. Had a run in with one the other day. Simple statement that I disagreed with s politician. Next thing I knew this guy was saying I was predjuiced and calling me names and everything and saying that I hated that politician. And all I said was I disagreed and didn’t think he had Americas interest at heart. It was ridiculous

    1. Jennifer says:

      I completely understand and respect your opinion Lynn thanks so much for reading!!!

  2. allysonbb says:

    Very well said Jennifer, I completely agree❤️

  3. Tamie says:

    I love this more than I can say. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I loved and supported the books before, during and after the crazy happened, and I too really enjoyed the movie. Sadly, haters will always hate, but I’m glad to have your post that I can come back to read when I run across them. Happy Valentine’s Day Jennifer, and hugs!

  4. Heidi Rice says:

    Absolutely agree with you on all counts Ms Probst… I Loved the book, and the movie was a total RIDE! I saw it with a cinema full of women (and a few brave boyfriends) who cheered when Christian appeared. Everyone wanted to be entertained and they were. There may have been some people there out of curiosity wanting to hate it, they would have gotten short shift from this crowd… This is a romance people, if you don’t get romance you won’t get this movie, so don’t bother watching it… Kudos to Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson and especially Sam Taylor Johnson for giving the material the respect it deserves… 90 million readers can’t be wrong IMHO! PS: I’d love to see Yhe a Marriage Bargain as a movie… We need more romance movies, then maybe people wouldn’t freak out about them so much!

    1. Lee says:

      I saw It with only 5 other people on Friday at 4.30pm Don’t know where everyone was!! But I liked it. think it would have been very different in a full cinema not a work from of any of us all mesmerized

  5. Vilma Akins says:

    Loved your commentary on the movie. I also enjoyed the books (re-reading them was the deciding factor). I’m still not entirely sure I want to see the movie (or wait for cable) but you hit the nail on the head….. the book is about their chemistry and relationship AND Anastasia ALWAYS had the power to say NO.

  6. Karen Lawson says:

    Love this. And you. And the movie. ❤️

    1. Jennifer says:

      Love you right back Karen!!

  7. I am a fan of your writing. Your perspective on 50 Shades is right on the mark in my opinion. This is a love story after all, plain and simple. As for reality? You are correct… ninja turtles, terminators, a bat man, and super strength… who does not know that is not reality dudes? After seeing the movie, it was glaring to me that Ana is a strong, intelligent and self-empowered woman. People confuse her sweetness and vulnerability with acquiescence. She still knows her own mind and is the catalyst to guiding Mr. G in his journey to recognizing and feeling love. Thank you Jennifer!

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thank you so much Gloria your support as a blogger and reader have been priceless!

  8. Pauline says:

    I agree : everyone has its own opinion. If anyone wants to criticize without any real argument, there’s no need to do it. I just want to tell that I don’t agree about the film following the book pretty closely.
    I saw it yesterday and I picked up every detail that was different from the book. I was disappointed because I expected so much from this film, even if the global idea of the book was faithfully adapted. I think the film is cool if we didn’t read the book before, but it’s only my opinion and everybody may disagree – I’ll accept it. (and sorry if I made mistakes, English is not my mother tongue)

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thank you so much Pauline, for expressing your opinion, which I completely respect!!! Your English was perfect!

      1. Jaimie Reynolds says:

        Thank you Jennifer for so eloquently expressing all the things I want to say to those that criticize the 50 shades trilogy and it’s fans. We obviously got something out of this beautiful love story that others did not. No judgments should be made either way. “Different strokes for different folks” and all that. To any fan that felt disappointed with the movie because it differed from the book some…..I seriously suggest watching it one more time. When I saw the movie on Thursday, I spent the entire 2 hours comparing the book to the movie. It was distracting and I left the theater with mixed emotions. I went again last night and because I went in KNOWING that there were differences, I was able to really enjoy it. I really can’t wait until it’s available on DVD and I can watch it to my heart’s content. 😉

  9. Carol says:

    You are so right! Why see a movie if you hated the book! People forget that this is a romance. People are allowed their own opinion but to be nasty is not necessary. The old saying “if you have nothing good to say don’t say anything at all! Most important, no one has a right to comment and be hostile – people are free to have different tastes and likes. I love your books Jennifer and think they would be an great movie!

  10. Nelida says:

    Well said Jennifer. If you didn’t like the book why even bother going see the movie? The critic keep forgetting that this isn’t the first film that has addressed that topic or sex. I love all your book, I have them and I also pass copy alone to sister and friends. Keep it up Mrs Jennifer.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thank you Nelida!!

  11. Marianna says:

    I love this post so hard and I couldn’t have a said it any better myself. Thank you.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thank you so much Marianna for reading!

  12. Kate Meader says:

    Preach it, Jen! Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Smooches!

  13. Susan Ratcliff says:

    Thank you, that is how I feel too….

  14. Love this! Totally agree! Going to see it tonight. Thank you for your insight.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thanks Melissa have fun!

  15. Leisa says:

    Well said Jennifer! And I love your books! Happy V day!

    1. Jennifer says:

      Happy V day Leisa thanks!

  16. CJ Baker says:

    Thank you for this post. Very well said.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thanks so much for reading CJ!

  17. Patricia Camaioni says:

    Thank you, Jennifer for insight into 50 Shades. I have been reading nasty comments for so long and disliking them. I agree with everything you’ve said so beautifully. I can’t believe people who didn’t read or hated it to go to the movie and then trash it loudly on the way out. I’m snowed in here in Massachusetts but will see it as soon I can get out. Happy Valentines’s!

  18. wendy says:

    Bravo Jennifer! I 100% agree with you! The actors were amazing and the sex scenes were absolutely tasteful and gorgeous! I’m not going to lie…they were hot, erotic and I would absolutely go see the movie again! 😉

  19. Lorraine says:

    Well done I couldn’t have said it all better. FSOG is a wonderful love story & if people see this film without reading all the books, they just won’t understand what us Book fans love about this story. X

  20. Choices. It’s all about choices, right? Change the channel, don’t pay for the movie or buy the book. No biggie. Mind your own business and get a life, people. Love each other Life’s too short for all this hate.
    Super post, Jennifer.

  21. Raine Miller says:

    Said so well by one of the classiest ladies in the biz. I love your take on the books and the movie. MUAH!!!

  22. lynn clifton says:

    Jennifer, I totally agree with you. I have had that same argument with my daughter to the point I had to walk away. I didn’t want to say something to my daughter that I might regret. I loved the books, shoot I read them three times. I loved the movie. I will probably go back and see it again. When it comes out on DVD I will probably purchase it also. I live in the BDSM worlds so I see things different then some. But, I have to agree with everything that Jennifer Probst has said and she has put it in words better then I ever could have.

  23. Penny says:

    I agree with you Jennifer! Everyone has an opinion and you won’t go to hell for it LOL. The name “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a very catchy title and it’s what made a lot people pick up the book in the first place. I have seen women and men read this series so there will be a lot opinions getting thrown around. As to your books, I love your writing and couldn’t put your books down till they were finished. Every author has an imagination and how boring would our book world be if everyone wrote and thought the same way!!

  24. Klae says:

    I love this article Jennifer. You expressed yourself perfectly and it needed to be said. I have seen some of these FB comments and was extremely appalled that women used the word rape. Really!? That is the absolute furthest thing from the truth and that someone would actually say it, I was floored. This book IS romance and how that said romance was able to bring these characters a crazy beautiful love. And if someone hated the book, why on earth would they go see the movie. BTW, I am still in love with your Marriage Bargain. I actually read your book first before I started 50 and I read it again along with your others. People need to get a grip and stop hiding behind the Internet with such vicious comments.

  25. Lori wyont says:

    Well said!

  26. Mary L says:

    I agree 100% Jennifer. I personally did not like 50 Shades nor do I plan on seeing the movie. I love your books so much better and never understood why 50 Shades was such a standout. Keep on writing you great romance books and don’t let the haters get you down!! Love you!

  27. Aimee says:

    I completely agree with you. Did i love the movie? Not entirely. I’ve seen it twice already, and even though the second time I liked it a little more, it was still not a winner for me. I had to start reading the books again, becuase i needed my Christian back. I think the way they portrayed him in the movie and the actual way he is in the books are completely different. They left out so many important scenes and phrases from the book, that to me, didnt convey the core of the story… The actual love story…the one, as you said, is a man taking the upmost care of his woman. Honestly, in the movie Christian was extremely soft. Not like the macho he is in the books. They made him look like an abuser, a stalker, sometimes he even looked creepy, and i believe this is why most people are hating the movie.
    I agree, there were parts very artistically well made. The scenarios, the soubdtrack, wardrobe, photography… Really good… The charcaters, all of them, great job…i LOVE Elliot.
    In a nutshell, i hope the producers turn lemons to lemonade. That they, meticulosly, take all the opinions into consideration, and get the two next movies completly right. Thats all you can do, live and learn!

    BTW, i’ve read “The Marrige Bargain” i thoughy it was a beautiful story.

    Thank you for your insight. Couldnt have said it better!

    1. Judy says:

      I agree with what you wrote here. Loved the books, saw the movie. Wasn’t totally happy with the actor who portrayed Christian. Different from the book. Not much chemistry between the two. Sex scenes were done in good taste, and Dakota Johnson did a good job. Just not my Christian. My only problem with the movie.

    2. michelle says:

      Agree!!

  28. Tiffany says:

    Love this post! I saw this movie the night it came out with a theater filled with women and a couple men. Everyone cheered when it started and screamed when it ended. I loved it, at first I was skeptical about the Dakota and Jamie. However, I was pleasantly impressed with the way they perfectly brought their characters to life. Dakota’s Ana added humor, love and innocence; while Jamie brought the real, serious and stunning Christian to life. There were people in the theater that had rude comments and a couple drunks, but we didn’t let it ruin seeing 50 come to life. It was a amazing.

  29. Heidi Rice says:

    Hi Jennifer… Here are my thoughts on the movie… Not all that dissimilar to yours funnily enough. LOL

    http://heidi-rice.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/fifty-shades-of-grey-movie-why-i-loved.html

    1. Jennifer says:

      OH Heidi your blog is terrific and so well written! Yes, we definitely have similar points of view but I’m not surprised – GREAT blog!

  30. Dominique says:

    I agree with you!!! I also am following other authors on various social media outlets. I’ve seen my share of the back and forth. My head is still spinning, so forgive me if I make mistakes or am incoherent. I have yet to see the movie. I enjoyed the books. Here’s my reason. Every person needs to grow. Christian didn’t have the greatest of intentions for Ana in the beginning. As the story progressed it and he got better. I mean what do you expect from him? He was a pretty young billionaire. Probably not the most emotionally secure. I do agree she cried so much during their relationship that at times I clicked my tongue and shook my head. Most people’s evaluations of the book are based on reading the first book. The second book and ultimately the third book are leaps and bounds better ( story, characters and grammar). Also, this book never promised to be a Bdsm how-to guide. It has opened the door to discussion and peaked interests on the subject. I don’t see the harm in that. Lots of publicity for other authors. You are head on with the freedom of speech- and your interpretation. Everything is different for everyone. If it is a trigger for you, get away from it, don’t see bash it. Cheese is a trigger for me- I’m not going to rampage about everyone boycotting cheese because I can’t handle it. Govern ourselves and leave everyone else alone. IMHO.

    TL;DR? It’s a book- it’s fiction not a self help book or how to guide. Get over it.

  31. Well said, Jen. As usual!!!

    1. Jennifer says:

      LOL thanks Wendy!

  32. Missy Synn says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They run very similar to my own. Happy Valentines Day <3

  33. Ashley1 says:

    Absolutely 100% agree. Couldn’t have said it better. 🙂 thank you thank you for putting this into words!

  34. Katie Matthews says:

    I am going to share this with people who have been awful to me for reading and loving 50 shades of Grey!! What your wrote is how I try and explain it to some very narrow minded people i know!! Thanks Jen, I’ve not come across your book but I’m off to look for it now on iTunes or Amazon!!! x

  35. Sharon Sason says:

    Thank you so much for this, Jennifer, and for trying to get it through to people that the main point of this book and the movie isn’t the BDSM aspect but the love that Ana and Christian grow to have for each other. I’ve read a lot of the negative comments that have been made and what annoys me is that from some of the things people have said it’s blatantly obvious these people haven’t read the books but are trying to be clever and think they know everything.

  36. Trish says:

    Love love love this post Jennifer!
    You have said everything that I have wanted to say, plus more,
    I cannot understand why these people get so much pleasure from putting people & their hard work down.
    Happy Valentines to you (what is left of it!) from across the pond!

  37. Jaqiswany says:

    Amen to that … I agree whole heartedly , well written and well said , cheers (ps. I loved the film and the books)

  38. Ellie says:

    Well said Jennifer… I laughed at the appropriate parts, not during the sex talk. Thats just so juvenile & adolescent. I mean, really … you could have waited to see it at home on DVD if you’re act that way. Why ruin the movie like that for those who actually wanted to see & enjoy the experience? I don’t get that.

    That’s for sharing your POV. 🙂

  39. Grace says:

    Thank you Jennifer. I am grateful for 50 because shortly after, I discovered the Marriage series. I wasn’t reading books on my kindle and started to seek out authors. You had me with Michael, I was hooked by the whole Italian family. Mmm I love the whole “Carino term”. I have enjoyed the Perfect series too especially Nate. 50 brought me closer to you!

  40. Jennifer says:

    Jennifer I agree with you 100%. I have always loved to read but was not really into romance tell the world want crazy for 50shades I loved the story and I loved that it lead me to your books. I do understand that the sex part is what everyone was drawn to but I fell in love with Mr. Grey because of everything he did outside of the bedroom and I think the movie was fantastic it really showed the love they have for each other. I have a lot of friends who are bashing the book and movie calling it rap and down right disrespect to women but I really think they missed the whole point. Thank you for writing the books you do

  41. why would you go to a movie if you hated the book? I didn’t like the book. I have no plans to watch the movie. living so close to the BDSM community I see so many things wrong with the book content and as a reviewer I disliked the characters. but hey to the women who did enjoy it to each there own.

  42. Dale says:

    i totally agree about the book!!! I liked the movie (a little) they changed some stuff that I caught and took out some stuff I figured they would!! I actually can’t wait for #2!!! But I must say I loved the books so much I’m on the 6th time reading them and I waited about 6 months before I got them!!!

  43. Katrina says:

    I could not agree more….my cinema experience was a complete embarrassment, Mature women acting like children. I have never experienced anything like it. I love the books and i really enjoyed the movie, well the parts i got to see. Great review.

  44. Sandra Drummond says:

    Totally agree Jennifer. Well said

  45. Angie McLain says:

    I love this post so much! I could not agree with you more

  46. Linda says:

    Dear Jennifer….I agree with you!
    I read the book and loved it!It was my first time about reading BDSM,but the whole story captured me.The romance with them,the silly messages,to see how two so diffrent people can interact togheter….
    I read lot of mean comment about the story,the books…if people don’t like it it’s ok….but if people thought that it’s a bad advertising for women….that’s absolutely wrong.
    I had a very high expectation about the movie,so i was a little disappointed about some details…but in the end….I love it!!
    I’m from Italy and I love your books!!!!The Billionaire series…and now i’m going to read the second one about the Searching for series….God bless you,and your way to write!!!!

    1. Jennifer says:

      OH, thank you so much Linda for loving my books and reading my blog you are the best!

  47. Leslie says:

    I loved the marriage bargain!!! I got it autographed by you at the romantic times convention. I also love 50 shades. I agree this is about 2 willing participants where the woman actually hold all the power. She can say the safe word at any time. I liked the movie as well.

  48. michelle says:

    I cannot agree more! You hit the nail on the head. In fact, I kinda felt like the “toned down” Christian’s character in the movie- there wasn’t enough of the back and forth between he and Ana (for example the many times she was intimidated by his grouchy side). I wonder if that was because of these people screaming abuse. Ridiculous, they are insulting women who have suffered actual abuse by a significant other.

  49. kspalismo says:

    Well said!

  50. Anne Lie says:

    Same way as i saw and see it. Love the books and 50 shades of grey the movie as well. The “sex”is so wel doen not jak but sensual and erotic. And i had to get used to the actors , not my own 1st choiche but wow what a good choice Ms James! Love it!

  51. I agree with you for the most part but i think u saw a different version of the film to me. I loved the books. But i felt all the emotion and feeling was left out of the film. They left out such huge chunks of the story that alot didnt even make sense. I was left disappointed by the film and will try my best to forget it completely and remember the story from the books i loved so much.

    1. Jennifer says:

      HI Elizabeth! I completely respect your opinion about the movie – many people did not like it and prefer the books and thank you for reading, and sharing your opinion in a respectful, educated way you rock!

  52. Moumita Jain says:

    Hello Jennifer
    Am from India and if the book and the movie has had pulled so much criticism and negatively in ur world imagine whats shock it has created in my country!
    The worst being that the movie has not yet released here and i doubt very much it ever will.
    But thank you for writing the exact truth for telling those “goody too shoes” that they can read and watch that is morally right for them and not make a beautiful love story to be what it is not!!!!
    I agree with every single word you have written. Looking forward to reading your book now. 🙂
    Moumita

  53. Liz Crowe says:

    thanks for sharing your thoughts. I couldn’t really get into the first book, and because of that don’t plan to see the movie. They were just not written in such a way that I appreciate but I sure do respect the amazing juggernaut of money and marketing that brought us to this moment–where it’s somehow all we can talk about. But congrats on all of your successes Jennifer! Keep it up!

  54. Michele says:

    I completEly agree. I loved the book and the movie. People are entitled to the opinions but like u said if they didn’t like the book why go to the movie makes no sense!! If you didn’t read the book or see the movie u can’t form an opinion. It is like voting if you don’t vote u have no right to complain about the way the country is run. Thank you for the blog your spot on. I can’t wait to go to see it again and to buy the dvd lol but then I am obsessed with Christian and wish he was my bf lol

  55. Melissa Kendall says:

    Thank you thank you thank you. It is so nice to read an article about 50 Shades that isn’t full of negativity and that understands that sometimes women want the fantasy of being so desired that a man would resort to stalkerish behaviour.

  56. madridista89 says:

    https://50shadesofabuse.wordpress.com/chapter-analyses-master-list/

    You may want to read that if you think that what happend in the books was romantic or consensual or sane. I think the books were poorly written. But because I fell in love with the characters and all the opportunities there are if it is well written I prefer fanfiction stories about them. I have read over 400 fsog stories on fanfiction and there are really amazing authors who write so much better than James did.

  57. Stella Shine says:

    I agree with everything you wrote. Italy’s happening in the same situation exasperating. it’s really sad. I liked both the film trilogy that I do not understand all this malice

  58. AJ Marks says:

    Hi Jennifer, I happen to agree 100% with your statement above. If people are truly that incense about a book or film they have a choice to read or see said work. What really ticks me off is when these “incense people” feel it’s their place to tell an author how to write her story, how long the book should be and when a series should end. Those people who criticize unjustly should have to write something in place that others can critique. Sorry about the rant. #hatersaregonnahate.

  59. Erica Stemm says:

    I love this. It’s spot on. We’re all adults and should act like it. I don’t tell members of my family what I read because it’s none of there business. I’ll tell them if I think they will enjoy it and they are the same way. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’ve read the books several times. I’m waiting until it’s on dvd because I’d rather watch it at home. Thank you for this post. <3

  60. roz says:

    I totally agree with your post. All the negative kind of ruined the build up for the film for me but I realised I am entitled to my opinion and thoroughly enjoyed the film. I agree with all the giggling comment, I just wanted to watch the film, so I went back and saw it again lol. ….so glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way! Thank you for posting!

  61. Gwendolyn says:

    Thank you, Jennifer, for your intelligent insight into the FSOG phenomenon. I read the books(more than once) and I have now seen the movie. When I first read the books the world of BDSM was a new genre of literature for me. But even the I did not see Christian as an abuser nor did I see Anastasia as a victim. From the beginning I told everyone I discussed the book with that under it all Christian and Ana’s story was one of love and devotion to one another. I liked the movie, very much, and to those who say it left a lot of the book out I say how could it not? To put everything that was the book in a movie would have required at least four hours and an intermission. Do I think they did a credible job in expressing the story of this incredibly damaged young man and the woman who accepted him, warts and all? Yes, I do. Will I see the movie again? Probably. Because I found with the books that every time I read them I found something new that I has missed in the previous reading. I sure it will be the same with the movie. Regardless to whether you loved or hated the books and now the movie one this is for sure: The story of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele is one that will be talked about for years to come.

  62. Chris Koller says:

    You are absolutely correct! Everyone is entitled to their opinions. What they are NOT entitled to is the right to be rude. What has happened to good manners? The anonymity of social media has truly put a nasty stain on society as a whole, in my humble opinion. Thank you for posting your opinion, it was well thought out and written.

  63. Mary Mooney says:

    I totally agree. If someone didn’t like the books then why see the movie and try to ruin others love of it. I loved, loved, loved the books and will have to wait until the movie comes out on DVD to see it but I know I will love it too. If I had any doubts then I would not be buying the DVD when it is available. Things are not right for me right now to see it at the theater but if It was, I would so be there. Why are there people that have to be negative to things they don’t understand and know nothing about? I use to read a lot when I was younger and somehow got away from it. It was Fifty Shades that got me back to reading and I read whenever I can. So thank you for being an author and doing what you do so I can enjoy it. ♥

  64. Tammy says:

    Well said! I fell in love with Christian and Ana. If was the love story between them and how the broken down their walls with each other that got me hooked! I have read the trilogy multiple times and most of the time I scrolled through the sex scenes because I wanted to see the interaction between Christian and Ana. I thought the movie was very tastefully done, the characters were a GREAT choice and did a wonderful job of portraying the emotions that were so palpable in the book. Jaime did a wonderful job acting, specifically showing the start if the unraveling of the very organized and routined Christian! BTW read the marriage series and loved all if them! Maggie was my favorite:)

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thanks Tammy I love Maggie too!!!

  65. Amy Dunne says:

    I agree with you that it follows the book. The only thing I feel like it was missing was Ana emotional struggle. I feel like the book betrayed it more but that is also hard to show that as well. I cant wait for the next movie

  66. C says:

    Well said! I think everyone enjoys getting lost in a great book and realize that it’s FICTION! However, I was disturbed to read (a few weeks ago) that an author of this genre left her husband because he could never live up to the characters she created in her books. I’m sure there were other problems to contend with but why would you go public with that?? Anywho, great blog post! 🙂

  67. Kathy Carlisle says:

    I saw this in a link on the Facebook page, “A Lust For Reading.”. I can’t agree with you more! My favorite are the ones going to watch it KNOWING they are going to hate it no matter what. Why?? Why would you do that? If I know I’m not going to like a movie I just don’t go. Enough said. I’ll never understand. Society seems to hate anything that makes women feel they have some say in they want. Be that in reading choices or in bed. The worse thing is it’s not men I’ve heard outraged, it’s women. I stand in awe how we attack one another.

  68. woodbeez48 says:

    I agree with your post completely and I feel so glad that someone has had the courage to come out and say what I feel. I went to see it yesterday with my husband and apart from the silly crowd of women laughing at everything and the couple who thought it was okay to talk through the film (!), we loved it. We had been planning our weekend to see it for ages and it lived up to our expectations completely. I have read all 3 books and tried to argue that it is a romance to many people but in the end, I’ve sort of given up. I’m not into BDSM but I agree with all you said about consensual sex in your article and that, nothing else in my opinion, is the point. If it is consensual, it’s okay. What worries me is how small-minded people still are about sex and sexual preferences. It strikes me that some people doth protest too much 😉 Off to look your book up now! Thank you 🙂

    1. Jennifer says:

      HI Julie! Thanks so much for reading and commenting – I so agree with you!!

  69. Author Jessica Lemmon YES. YES YES YES AND YES. I was commenting to a friend this weekend about how maddening social media has become. People are being downright nasty. From Christians telling us we’re ruining our marriages to career women scoffing that this celebrates abuse (no, no it does not), I’ve just about had it. And, I’m with you. I can’t stand to see fantastic and amazing authors ripping this book apart. I am with you on the “if you hate something, just don’t bring it up” mentality. What happened to “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at a all”??? I recently posted my own blog about when I met E.L. James speaking in her defense. I’m only sorry you and James have to deal with people going out of their way to tell you how much they dislike your books. Ouch, indeed. But this article right here? This is why you are awesome, Jennifer. I just couldn’t have said it better myself. You are a true class act.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Aww thanks Jessica that really means so much to me – I adore you as a writer and a person!

  70. Jane Nelson says:

    Awesome! That’s all! Thank you sooooo much for this review! Jealousy can be very all consuming and I believe that’s all it is. Haters have to hate!

  71. Gwen says:

    Love your books!! Thank you, thank you!!! I agree with everything you have written above. There are people out there that just want to twist this book and movie into something it is not. I saw a movie review by a woman. She never read the book or saw the movie. She was going by what other people had told her. She said the book and movie were about rape, abuse and sadism. No it is not!!! It’s so much more than that. I don’t know how she could review the movie without personally experiencing it herself. So thank you so much Jennifer for putting it into the perfect words.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Thank you so much Gwen! Really glad you love my books and the post!

  72. Judy Schacherer says:

    I’m in total agreement. I actually loved the books. All of them. To me it’s about the personal relationship between Anastasia and Christian. I love how she wants to help him heal from his abhorrent childhood and he just wants to take care of her. It’s such a moving storyline and the sex is just a small part of it for me. Thanks for this blog. Seeing the movie tonight and now I’m looking even more forward to it.

    1. Jennifer says:

      Yes so happy you related yo the blog post thank you!

  73. Very well spoken, Jennifer. I’ve decided to wait on seeing the movie because I’ve seen so many reviews that mentioned the crowd being loud and inconsiderate of others in the theater trying to watch and listen. I loved the book for the characterization, the redemption, and the romance. The sex scenes are secondary to the romance for me. I’ve only seen one negative comment in my social media news feed (lucky me), and it was connecting to a blog post stating exactly what you referenced above: abuse of women. Consent does not equate to abuse and never has to my knowledge. I’ll admit that this was my first BDSM novel and scared the bejeebees out of me! Did I love the writing. Well, no. Did I love the story? Oh! Yes! I’m sure E.L. is wringing her hands with worry about all of the negativity while on her way to the bank. I know that’s what I’d do.

  74. IRT says:

    I so agree with you Jennifer! My hubby and I went to see it last night, and we both really liked it. I had of course read all three books, he didn’t read any of them.

  75. Stephanie Osborne says:

    Well said, my thoughts exactly! I am sick and tired of people infinging on my right or debating me about how awful the books and movie are. It is their choice to choose not to see or read it, just as it is mine to read and see it. This debate about how they don’t want their daughter’s to not be like Ana and feel she is being dominated in the relationship is blown completely out of proportion . First of all, this isn’t meant for our daughter’s to read until they become of age to read it and at that point it is their choice to choose to or not to read or see it.
    I have always said that if you even took the sex part out of the book, you would realize the deeper meaning of the struggle in the realationship between Ana and Christian. The struggle for Ana of keeping true to who she is as a person while exploring the context of their relationship and for Christian learning how to relinquish his control and change, which is something he isn’t used to doing. They both make choices. Choices that teach them how to compromise and communicate without losing who they are fundamentally and fall in love.
    It is refreshing to finally hear that someone feels the same as I do and is speaking up about it…Kudos!

  76. janice says:

    Well said I took my hubby to be to see the film yesterday and we both loved it and yes I have readed all three books .Going to look up your books and have a read.

  77. Sheryl Sutton-Sigler says:

    Great post. I agree with you!! The girls I went with had mixed feelings but I loved it. I hated then ending at the time, (only because I didn’t want it to end) I know it was a way to bring in the next one and I just hope it comes out soon!!!!I’m patiently waiting!!!!

  78. DiDi says:

    Bravo!!! Well said =)

  79. Peggy says:

    I agree with you 100%. Loved the books. Liked the movie. I think they changed too much of the wording, timeline for me but will most definitely see the 2nd and 3rd because I loved the books. My husband actually purchased tickets to take me several weeks before opening night. It wasn’t his thing but he did it for me. You don’t find too many men who likes love stories and this is what it is about with a twist of BDSM which was between to willing adults.

    By the way, I am totally a huge fan of your Marriage to a Billionaire Series and look forward to reading others you have written. Thanks and keep up the great work!

  80. Kim says:

    I love your post. I’ve expressed most if not all of your same thoughts lately. People can be really mean, and I had to try hard to not let it get to me and take the fun out of it. My husband read the book before we saw the movie and that in itself brought another level of enjoyment for me because he wanted to talk about it. And what’s up with all the older women being so giggly during the movie? My husband and I went last night and he got annoyed at the group behind us. When it was over, and one of them said, “You have got to be kidding me!” My husband took great joy in saying “You should’ve read the book you would’ve known how it ended.” lol
    Thanks again for your post!

  81. Spot on Jennifer. I’ve been amazed by the sneering comments and blatant prejudice from people who haven’t read the book or seen the film, but somehow have an opinion on it – and people who did enjoy it – anyway. Not everyone’s going to like it, but at least spare us the courtesy of making your own mind up or, if that sort of book doesn’t appeal, shut the f up and respect my right to do my thing while you do yours.
    I liked the film, thought lots was missed though – wish it’d been a tv series instead so we got hours more scenes to drool over 😉

  82. tracykuhn says:

    This is really refreshing to read, I’ve never read so many criticisms of a book by people who haven’t even read it. I’ve seen a lot of misogynistic comments by other women, which always makes me feel uncomfortable and I also find it patronising, being told what to think. I think there are a lot more books and films out there with a much darker message that we need to be worried about. In the meantime, if it’s not for you, don’t read it/see it. It’s very simple.
    Great post 🙂

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