It’s time to share the secret sauce that writers have been protecting for YEARS. Yep, I’m finally going to spill the beans and let the world in on the actual steps you need to follow in order to write a book. We’ve kept our careers shrouded in secrecy, banking on your questions of “How do you get your ideas?” and “Why do writers look ugly and scared of people?” to distract you from figuring out how to become a REAL author.
But I’m tired of being selfish. It’s time I release the vault so ALL of us can become like me.
Ready? Here we go:
1. Butt in chair.
2. Open up a blank Word document. *You can also use a blank piece of paper and pen if you want a more literary appeal but it’s faster to type.*
3. Write crappy words for endless hours until something resembling a story eventually appears.
4. When your brain is fried and your fingers hurt, get up and walk around. Refill coffee. Talk to your dog. Channel surf through talk shows and reality tv in complete fascination. Spend the next half hour trying to force yourself to go back into your prison – aka- your office.
5. Go back and repeat step #3
6. Eat. Have some interaction with family members. Sleep.
7. Rinse and Repeat.
8. Buy my book, Write Naked: A Bestseller’s Secrets to Writing Romance.
Okay, fine, you don’t have to do step #8, I just threw that in there for a quickie lesson on marketing and pimping yourself out in an uncomfortable fashion.